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  • Writer's pictureFearandloathingIOM

Undercover Ashy?

Ann Widdecombe managed to effectively doom Michael Howard's 1997 Tory leadership challenge by publicly observing that he had something of the night about him and its not hard to see that the same also applies to Douglas North old ladies favourite and the Island's ever sombre Health Minister and enthusiastic letter-shredder David 'Ashy' Ashford MBE.


But while lots of little old ladies will still undoubtedly be swooning he's such a lovely young man every time they see his picture in the paper; after Glovergate there's also now a fair few people who wouldn't be surprised if he really did sleep in a casket of earth from his homeland in between his public appearances at the PAC and his slots on the much maligned Howie and Ashy Facebook Show. Which makes it all very strange that despite not yet publicly declaring his 2021 intentions David Ashford MBE MHK seems to be quietly leaflet dropping the residents of Douglas North and asking for their vote.


David Ashford MHK's covert leaflet reproduced:



So why all the apparent secrecy? And what is the likely legacy of young Ashy now he furtively puts himself back in front of the voters of Douglas North seeking another five-year term? Will he be remembered simply as the sombre almost black & white 1940's Pathe News figure who in a way vaguely reminiscent of a very dull Churchill or Mountbatten addressed the nation and its troops in its time of crisis? Or as the smug and sneaky letter-shredder, serial rebuttal promiser, and self-proclaimed specialist code writer who appeared to be an integral part of a smear campaign against someone who was regarded by many as a person who was genuinely trying to improve our front-line pandemic defences much to the general chagrin of those who didn't seem to be getting the need for science in amongst all the ordering people about, mass internment, and shutting things down.


Lets not forget too that the residual chummy Ashy persona only really exists thanks to the nice folk at Gef the Mongoose who salvaged the fallout of many of those badly staged media briefings by humorously re-packaging their stuffy Pathe News emulator for the locked-down hordes who wanted an Ashy t-shirt to wear while they cracked open the wine and Jaffa Cakes waiting for the spectral appearance of the IOM's self-appointed saviour in their 4pm Facebook feeds. The creation of a cult of personality from a clear cult of no personality at all if you will.


So where does all this likely leave Ashy when it comes to the 2021 election doorstep challenge? And why is he now sneaking around in the evening [although we suspect he has people to do that for him] covertly slipping things into peoples' post boxes instead of publicly declaring his intentions to a wider audience?


Well in all likelihood somewhere in Gef HQ there is a dusty storeroom already full of unworn Howie & Ashy t-shirts and unused Howard O'Clock mugs. And we've already pulled back the curtain on the Wizard of Oz and its clear that he's just some bloke in a badly fitting Topshop waistcoat who buys his £2.99 sandwich every day in M&S being pulled by levers and invisible wires [which no voter in Douglas North will ever control] from behind the scenes.


So no doubt in typical IOM election fashion there will soon be a very sombre man with a definite something of the night about him traipsing the pavements of Douglas North making sure that the potholes outside Mrs Kelly's house will be fixed and that the dog poo in the children's play park is all picked up. And if he keeps a low enough profile away from the noisy social media brigade at the end of the day there will probably be lots of old ladies out there who still think that he's a lovely young man who saved them from kicking their clogs a few months earlier than they had pencilled in.


That said we suppose its a good job that 2021 election canvassing will only run through to the end of September which fortuitously avoids the Hop tu Naa season where any similarly attired Bela Lugosi impersonator creeping through the streets of Douglas North would probably spook the elderly as the nights start to draw in!


Pictured: David 'Ashy' Ashford MBE MHK



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