The way that social media seems to so easily intrude on peoples lives its easy to forget that politics is ultimately about real people and not about self-penned platitudes pushed into peoples Facebook or Twitter feeds (or landing on your doormat for that matter). Neither is it about YouTube grandstanding or political posting about things that really aren't important but which provide easy online content to be watched and shared. Which is why its important to remember that despite all that you've read watched or shared so far - the time for the 2021 organised public meetings is rapidly approaching.
The below list of venues and dates has been reproduced from an original 3fm feature in June confirming that between the 2nd and the 20th of September we will all have the chance to attend a series of meetings where we can put questions to those seeking our public mandate for the next five years. So if you haven't met your candidate face to face on your doorstep yet these events are essential in getting access to the people who you will be paying for the next five years to represent you - so do put these dates in your diary:
Arbory, Castletown & Malew
Thursday 2 September - Arbory Primary School
Tuesday 7 September - Castletown Community Hall
Wednesday 15 September - Ballasalla Primary School
Our take: We hope that Graham Cregeen can actually find each venue without assistance and that HM Sole (or in Clark Kent mode plain old Ian Clanton) can trigger the escape pod from his undersea lair with enough time to get there for the start. We also understand that special ear-pods will be available so that attendees have the option to hear Jason Moorhouse speak in a normal voice so they can actually work out what he's on about.
Ayre & Michael
Wednesday 1 September - Andreas Primary School
Tuesday 7 September - Jurby Primary School
Thursday 9 September - Ballaugh Parish Hall
Monday 13 September - Sulby Primary School
Thursday 16 September - Michael Primary School
Monday 20 September - Bride Methodist Church Hall
Our take: For those unsure about the location of any of the above venues just look for the baying mob carrying the flaming torches and Baker Out placards and you won't go that far wrong. Although don't even think of going by bus as it will be beyond the capability of Tim Baker to have ensured that this is in any way possible.
Douglas Central
Tuesday 14 September - St Ninian’s High School
Our take: Arrive early and leave late (perhaps also bring some sandwiches and a flask) as Chris Thomas and Damian Ciappelli will be providing most of the answers. If anyone is unsure Ann Corlett will be the lady with the big hair. You won't have seen her for five years so please don't confuse her with any random woman who happens to be there.
Douglas East
Tuesday 14 September - Manx Museum Lecture Theatre
Our take: Bring your MAGA hat or Buffalo horns and a trusty megaphone if you want the full experience as Josem is in town. Whoop whoop!
Douglas North
Thursday 16 September - Willaston Primary School
Our take: Get ready for the grand entrance as a solitary bat flies through the open window and in a puff of smoke transforms into Ashy in front of your very eyes - but maybe leave before it gets dark if you want to get home safely. St Johns Ambulance will be on standby just in case any old ladies swoon when that nice young man Ashy starts to speak.
Douglas South
Thursday 16 September - Anagh Coar Primary School
Our take: Bring a David Cretney mask if you want to fit in. The whole extended family will be there ready to shake your hand and kiss your babies. You won't be able to escape their clutches. Broken biscuits may be offered as gifts.
Garff
Thursday 2 September - Dhoon Primary School
Wednesday 8 September - Laxey Primary School
Tuesday 14 September - Onchan Primary School
Our take: There's a £10 reward if the phrase GGGareth for GGGarff is uttered for the duration of the night. We doubt Daphne Hilary Penelope Pitstop Caine will be in peril though as a bunch of old grey men, most of whom have at some point been failed Garff Commissioners, try to bore the audience half to death. Bring some Prozac for half time just in case it gets too exciting.
Glenfaba & Peel
Monday 6 September - St John’s Primary School
Thursday 9 September - Foxdale Primary School
Wednesday 15 September - QEII High School
Our take: Another one to attend just to experience the air of subtly fuming contempt that will likely be evident in relation to anything Ray Harmer or Geoffrey Boot says or does. We also wonder if perpetually angry retired civil servant Trevor Cowin might actually lamp one of them halfway through, and whether Mikey Lee might have a panic attack having been asked to leave the boundary of Old Peel for the first time in a decade to visit the way off yonder land of Foxdale.
Middle
Wednesday 1 September - Marown Primary School
Monday 6 September - Braddan Primary School
Monday 13 September - Comis Hotel
Our take: Even if you don't live in Middle these will be the ones to attend. There doesn't seem to be a dictionary definition for a collection of whoppers [a whoop perhaps?] but if one existed it would apply to almost the full field in Hazzard County. Afterwards there will be a moonshine run where Stu Peters will attempt to jump his car over the River Dhoo with the police in hot pursuit while Super Hans plays Lynyrd Skynrds Freebird on the banjo. Hillbilly heaven.
Onchan
Wednesday 8 September - Bemahague School
Our take: Hopefully James Cherry's mum lets him stay up late otherwise he may not get to answer some questions before bed time. Again if you're not sure of the venue just look out for the 300 Vote for Rob Callister signs hammered into the ground immediately outside and you'll be there. Bouncers have been hired to ensure that Julie Edge and Rob Callister both maintain safe social distancing from each other - although there's already a book running on who throws the first punch.
Ramsey
Thursday 9 September - Bunscoill Rhumsaa
Our take: In hindsight with so many candidates now standing its fortuitous that they booked a school for the event. The first person to mention the Ramsey Marina gets a rotten egg before they wheel Leonard Singer in like Young Mr Grace to tell Lawrie Hooper and Alex Allinson that they all haven't done very well. Another one not to miss even if you need your passport to get down North and it will be interesting to see if the Ginga Ninja's bedside manner carries him through the night or whether it all gets a bit nasty.
Rushen
Monday 13 September - Rushen Primary School
Our take: We're wondering if Mark Kemp turns into the Incredible Hulk when angry and this might be the place to test the theory. So if you see a green man in ripped trousers heading off down the road afterwards you'll know that the meeting didn't go especially well. Speaking of green things - Andrew Langan-Newton also looks like the sort to overrun his questions by a good margin so again maybe bring some sandwiches. He'll be well worth listening to though.
The original 3fm link is here:
https://www.three.fm/news/isle-of-man-news/new-public-meetings-introduced-ahead-of-general-election/
Pictured: Jarvis Cocker in a Shoprite trolly. Sing along with the common people .. and it might just get you through.
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